Longing as art..
A mentor once challenged me to make art of my longing..
Feels bold to judge my writing as art…
My heart yearns for partnership in a way that sometimes feels painful. I go to contracting because it’s “too much” to be with.
This morning I woke up in tears. My body pulsing with electricity, turned on with no one to share it with.
I’m sick of everyone preaching self pleasure in lieu of the real thing.
I own that I have a need for another being outside of myself to touch and hold me.
Sometimes I want to throw all this sovereignty work out the window and melt into a man’s arms.
“Trust Gods timeline” I hear over and over. His will, not yours they say.
The duality of being ok with any outcome, yet still holding the desire for it and faith that it’s coming.
There’s this saying in program I love: feet hit the floor, knees are fast to follow.
That’s where I’ll be today, handing it over. Over and over and over again.
Getting so Right with the fact that I am a love driven being, I will eternally yearn for the kind of unconditional love I know is possible.